Wanted: A Champion

I’ve never been a heavy dater.  I’m a Black girl that has a history of dating White guys.  This doesn’t make for an easy dating life – even in a city like Los Angeles. I also have high standards and quite the “I refuse to compromise on these items” list.  But after years of working on my list of what I want in a man (Christian, strength, humor, great lover, etc..) and all the things I don’t want (a heavy drinker, smoker, general lameness, etc…) I could never just sum it up with one word.  No longer!

I was watching Eat Pray Love last weekend.  There’s a scene when Liz is at her guru’s house and Philippe is getting his palm read.  The guru’s wife walks by and says to Liz, “He’s a good man.  You need a good man.”  Of course, Liz is annoyed and everyone laughs.  As Liz and Philippe leave the guru’s house Liz runs her hand thru her hair and says, “I’m so tired of people telling me I need a man.”  And then Philippe says it…

“You don’t need a man.  You need a champion.” Liz smiles.

I smiled.

I want a champion.  Someone that can be trusted to make good decisions (and trusted in general).  Someone that knows when to kick ass and when to finesse a situation.  Someone with high self-esteem but not a cocky asshole or d-bag.  Someone that knows when to be strong and when to be gentle.  Someone that can be venerable when the moment calls for it and not see it as a weakness. I can go on, but I’m sure my point is obvious.  A champion.

Am I asking too much???  Did I mention that I have high standards???

Btw…I’m way tired of being “good for” some guy.  “Oh, Michele will be good for blah, blah, blah.”  Hearing that makes me feel like I’m with someone that needs to be corralled or needs a mommy figure – not a girlfriend. I want to be a “good match” for my guy and I want him to be a good match for me. There’s more of a feeling of a healthy balance with a good match.  Being good for someone sounds terribly unbalanced and not particularly something I want to be legally bound in for the rest of my life.  I’m just sayin’…


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Amanda Seery
    Apr 24, 2011 @ 09:24:23

    I know what you’r saying. I remember thinking something similar before meeting my husband. I promised myself I wouldn’t waste my time on if-y relationships anymore. Promising the next person I date will be a good marriage candidate. Well, Patrick came along…. and i remember how I felt around him– relaxed, balanced, at home.
    Michelle, I guess I’m sharing this little story because I really want to you to find your champion. You deserve it! And think of this story when our high standards kick in. There’s honestly nothing “perfect” about my relationship with Pat, just that the way we love each other is perfect. We spend our time together perfecting each other. We’ll never be done. 🙂


    • cheletopia
      Apr 24, 2011 @ 22:49:04

      Feelings of being relaxed, balanced, at home. I want that. I love that you mentioned that your relationship isn’t perfect but your love for each other is. You are a lucky girl sweetheart =) Thanks for the thoughtful comment honey!


  2. toasty redhead
    May 14, 2011 @ 02:46:56

    Good points


  3. joyce
    Jun 09, 2011 @ 09:48:58

    Absolutely nothing wrong with high standards…because you value and respect you! And I agree…anyone who says “you’d be good for so and so” is not thinking enough about what is good for you. I hope you find a great guy who is mature, fun, faithful, smart, and crazy about you 🙂


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