I’ve never been a heavy dater. I’m a Black girl that has a history of dating White guys. This doesn’t make for an easy dating life – even in a city like Los Angeles. I also have high standards and quite the “I refuse to compromise on these items” list. But after years of working on my list of what I want in a man (Christian, strength, humor, great lover, etc..) and all the things I don’t want (a heavy drinker, smoker, general lameness, etc…) I could never just sum it up with one word. No longer!
I was watching Eat Pray Love last weekend. There’s a scene when Liz is at her guru’s house and Philippe is getting his palm read. The guru’s wife walks by and says to Liz, “He’s a good man. You need a good man.” Of course, Liz is annoyed and everyone laughs. As Liz and Philippe leave the guru’s house Liz runs her hand thru her hair and says, “I’m so tired of people telling me I need a man.” And then Philippe says it…
“You don’t need a man. You need a champion.” Liz smiles.
I want a champion. Someone that can be trusted to make good decisions (and trusted in general). Someone that knows when to kick ass and when to finesse a situation. Someone with high self-esteem but not a cocky asshole or d-bag. Someone that knows when to be strong and when to be gentle. Someone that can be venerable when the moment calls for it and not see it as a weakness. I can go on, but I’m sure my point is obvious. A champion.
Am I asking too much??? Did I mention that I have high standards???
Btw…I’m way tired of being “good for” some guy. “Oh, Michele will be good for blah, blah, blah.” Hearing that makes me feel like I’m with someone that needs to be corralled or needs a mommy figure – not a girlfriend. I want to be a “good match” for my guy and I want him to be a good match for me. There’s more of a feeling of a healthy balance with a good match. Being good for someone sounds terribly unbalanced and not particularly something I want to be legally bound in for the rest of my life. I’m just sayin’…