So basically I was lied to…

Remember that song by Tony! Toni! Tone! called “It Never Rains in Southern California”?

Great song…Oh it may be cold on the east coast but on the other side of town it never rainnnnnnnnnnsssss, o-oh-oh-o-oh-ohhhhh…


LOOK!!!! That blurry stuff making it hard to see my neighbor’s roof thru the window = RAIN!!!



Now you have to understand, I’m from Southern California. I barely understand rain and I totally don’t know how snow works. People keep trying to explain what sleet is but it just sounds evil and sorta made up. So you best believe that hail is completely off my radar. Imagine my surprise when I saw this shit!!!


Apparently this is what happens during whinnter? wentar? winter?


*please note that this is nothing compared to the two storms that are sitting over the East Coast right now. i totally jest about “winter” here. stay warm and safe my eastcoasters!


2013 LA Art Show

So I went to the 2013 LA Art Show last weekend!

I actually found out about the show thru either Living Social or Groupon because they were offer the tickets for 50% off!

Being the artsy girl that I am, I totally took advantage of the deal and took myself to the convention center for the show – aren’t I nice to me!?

Gotta say there was so much groovy shit there. Like realllly cool stuff.

How cool is this peacock and lotus painting (White Peacock & Lotus by Jesse Arms Botke)?

I absolutely love how fine and detailed the work is in this painting. Just stunning and well worth the $47,500 price tag.

And who doesn’t love giant money!

What’s an art show without some Santa Fe style art…

…and funky installation art!?

Clean up in isle 5!!! Clean up in isle 5 please!!!

Oh look! A creepy but incredibly cool sculpture!

There was booth that had prints – tons and tons of prints.

I want that print that’s second from the left. *want*

My favorite exhibit was the Letters From Los Angeles exhibit.

This exhibit really resonated with me. I must have revisited it 4 or 5 times while I was at the show.

Here’s some other random goodness from the show:

Oh and don’t mind this painting, it’s just AMAZING and $360,000.

Man I love me some fancy shit!!!


Soooooo, I decided to get another tattoo.

Big but awesome right?! I’m super happy with it.

Trust me, this was no spur of the moment decision. I’ve been thinking about this for a very, very long time. I also interviewed 7 tattoo artists at 7 different shops.

After much consideration and many conversations, I ended up going with Taka Tamada at Body Electric in Hollywood.

This guy is amazing. He specializes in Japanese body pieces so this was easy-peasy for him. When shopping around for an artist, I got a range of 3 to 9 hours to bang this bad boy out. Taka did it in under 2 hours. Way under 2 hours. Which, let me tell you, was good because I don’t think I could have taken much more!

Here I am, coooooool as a cucumber…

Don’t let my cool demeanor fool you – this did not feel good. It wasn’t crazy outrageous pain, but it was painful nonetheless. Definitely some pain.

Now, I know a lot of people aren’t a fan of women with tattoos for a number of reasons, which is fine. But what gets me are the stereotypes that people are still hanging on to. Silliness. According to the internet …

  • I’m a whore
  • I have poor decision making skills
  • I’m a biker chick
  • I’m a lesbian
  • I have more sex than most women
  • I’m not to be trusted
  • I would make a bad parent
  • I’m a gangbanger
  • I’m uneducated
  • I’m an attention whore
  • I have daddy issues
  • I’m dirty and have STDs
  • I wear wifebeaters without a bra

Let me just clear the air > I’m none of those things. I’m still the same awesome chick I was before I got this tattoo.

Stupid Internet. Stop trying to tell me who I am! You’re not the boss of me!!!

And let’s be honest. I’m 37 years old and chesty. Who would benefit from me running around with no bra on? NO ONE. NOOOOOOOO ONE.

25 Things About Me

So while checkin’ in on some of my favorite blogs lately, I saw that a couple of them were doing a “25 Things About Me” list (a challenge so to speak). I thought to myself, 25 things about me? I could probably come up with 25 things about myself!

Let’s see here…

  1. I secretly want to be a dancer – a burlesque/ballet/hip-hop dancer
  2. I talk in my sleep – loudly apparently
  3. Ever since I can remember I’ve wanted to live in Paris
  4. I hate the mornings…7am is for getting in, not getting up
  5. I currently have one tattoo and have an idea brewing for a new one
  6. If I had a British accent I would never shut up
  7. I love my church
  8. Whenever the Victoria’s Secret fashion show is on, I put on my highest heels, roll up my pj pants legs and do runway walks all around my house (what? I’m not a size 2 – LIAR!!!)
  9. I will totally prison shank you over some lemon meringue pie – I would take a step back if I were you
  10. Sometimes I don’t think having kids will be the end of me
  11. Night blooming jasmine always makes me think of my mom
  12. I’ve seen the Sound of Music more than 30 times (I simply stopped counting after around the 32nd time)
  13. Do you do your best thinking in the shower? I do!
  14. I love weddings – I’m a girl and I make no apologies about it
  15. I know I shouldn’t let my little fur ball sleep under the covers but he’s discovered its warm there and he’s hooked
  16. Beets and olives are probably my least favorite foods on the planet (ughhhh…so nasty)
  17. Gimmie hug…gimmie another hug…hugs me again! I love me some hugs!
  18. I love cows – and not just for eating either. Whenever I see real cows out in the open I can’t keep myself from charging towards them while screaming “MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOO!” I do love them for eating too. Not gonna lie about that…
  19. Cabernet Sauvignon?…Why yes, I’ll take a glass
  20. I can’t do the splits to save my life
  21. I truly believe that there’s a sex kitten in every woman on the planet
  22. I can sit on the couch and watch football from 10am to 8pm and barely move every Sunday
  23. I make the best collard greens
  24. I couldn’t imagine my life without music (listening to Sly and the Family Stone right now)
  25. I was talking to my boss about the…whoa, is that dark chocolate? Can I have some? (I love chocolate and I’m easily distracted by it if you didn’t get that)

There you have it – 25 random things about me that you could have lived without knowing. (Lies!!! You know you wanted to know!!!)

Dating Story #59798473

So I went on a blind date last week with this guy after talking via email for a couple of weeks.  I didn’t give him my phone number because right now talking on the phone is not my thing (SO BUSY and I told him this) and I just had a feeling that I shouldn’t give this guy my number until after we met.  

We went to dinner at Houston’s for our first meeting/blind date.  He was very intense.  He kept telling me how he was such a great man, how if I passed on him I would be missing out on such a good thing, how he wanted to learn more about me (but he never asked me any questions), etc, etc.

After dinner he was very insistent about going to his car instead of walking me to my car.  (Helllllo! Don’t know you!  Dark, semi empty parking lot at 10pm at night! Hello!).  Against my better judgment, I went with him to his car and he gave me a box of Junior Mints.  An opened, half eaten box of Junior Mints.  When he finally walked me to my car, he kissed me (which was fine-ish) but when I clearly wanted him to let go of me he wouldn’t let me loose.  I literally had to tug and shake my way out of his grasp.

I called him the next night and he told me that he was very disturbed by how our date ended and that he was up to 6am the next morning thinking about it.  I told him that I thought he was a little intense in general and definitely too intense for me.  He continued to talk about how he hasn’t dated in 3 years and wasn’t socialized in the whole dating world anymore and how he’s a great guy, how if I passed on him I would be missing out on a good thing, blah, blah, blah…for an hour.  

Then the next morning around 7am he texted me, “Can I have a kiss?” I didn’t answer his text.

He called a few hours later but I didn’t answer or listen to the voice mail he left me.

Stupid cell phone caller ID.

I get to work this morning and I get this email from him:

Seriously, I very clearly said over dinner, “I’m pretty much an open book. You can ask me whatever you want.” What do you want – my bank account number?

He has an 18 year old daughter. Would he be okay with her getting in some random dude’s car?

Living a double life?  When did I start getting that kind of sleep?

What’s with all of the emoticons?

And most important, what the hell happened to the other half of the Junior Mints?!?!?

Good Find at the Goodwill

First things first, I’m not above shopping at the Goodwill – not at all. A good portion of my clothing and the majority of my books came from the Goodwill as a child and well into my teenage years. And really, you can get some great deals on some really awesome items there.

Secondly, I love my little fur man and he’s totally sweet and adorable, but his love for my couch makes me crazy. He complete destroyed one of the back cushions (had 7, then I was randomly down to 6), chewed on both armrest and all of the sitting cushions have sizeable holes in them. Hot, hot mess.

So, originally I was planning to reupholster my well chewed couch over the summer. I’m skilled with a sewing machine and making pillows and such isn’t difficult for me. But, honestly, I wasn’t at all jazzed about tackling this project – not only would it be costly, even in pieces, it would totally interrupt my knitting and crocheting plans.

Enter the Goodwill. After buying some new (and much needed) Adidas on a Saturday afternoon, I wondered over to the nearby Goodwill. I was looking for a party dress and some jeans when I wander over to the furniture/home items area…Wouldn’t you know it, there sat a lovely olive colored couch. While taking a look at it I thought to myself “This is nice. I hope it’s under $300.” Then I saw the price and almost fell over. I called a sales person over to make sure that what I was seeing was correct – “Excuse me! Excuse me! Is this price correct?” We looked and looked for the second backup price tag and eventually verified the price. I called my dad and told him about my sweet find, paid for it and did a dance of ridiculous happiness!

How much did I pay for this little find you ask? Wait for it…waaaaaaaaaaittttt…$49.99.


I ended up getting a cute black party dress, a lightweight Old Navy jacket and a freakin’ couch all for under $70.00.


So, without further ado, I introduce to you, Sofia, my new sofa!!!!

Isn’t God good?  =D

You Don’t Know Me!!!

Every so often I get some stranger that feels the need to get all confrontational with me. If I’m in the wrong, its one thing. But, if you call me on something that I didn’t do, it’s best that you get the hell out of my way.

Fooooor example…Today, after a long day of having to take my puppy to the vet because his ear was bothering him and doing four hours at the Vortex of Crazy (aka – work), I took my little man for his evening walk. Mid way thru our walk we crossed the street and this guy from the side of the street that we just came from comes out of his house to check his lawn. Now, my 15 pound dog had already pooped further down the street and I had his poop in a bag in my hand. The dude from across the street sees me with my dog and starts yelling at me:

Nasty Dude (pointing down to some dog poop on his lawn): “You left dog poop!”

Me (holding up my dog’s poop in its bag): “I have my dog’s poop. That’s from some other dog.”

Nasty Dude: “You left some!”

Me (waving bagged dog poop very angry like): “Do I need to come over there and show this too you?”

At this point I go marching across the street – bagged poop now being held directly out in front of me.

Me: “Seriously. Here’s my dog’s poop. Do you really think my dog could poop this (swinging Bailey’s poop bag in the air for crazy emphasis) and all that? Do you really need me to pick that up for you?”

Nasty Dude (walking away from me and my crazy): “No. No. I’ll pick it up.”

Me: “You need to learn to ask questions before you start accusing people of stuff.”

What the hell? Calm down cowboy. Didn’t your mother teach you not to talk to strangers? I mean seriously, I carry pepper spray, had a tough day, and, as Wikipedia says about my A-type personality, I have free floating hostility issues. You don’t know me dude. I will punch you in the kidneys.

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