Dating Story #59798473

So I went on a blind date last week with this guy after talking via email for a couple of weeks.  I didn’t give him my phone number because right now talking on the phone is not my thing (SO BUSY and I told him this) and I just had a feeling that I shouldn’t give this guy my number until after we met.  

We went to dinner at Houston’s for our first meeting/blind date.  He was very intense.  He kept telling me how he was such a great man, how if I passed on him I would be missing out on such a good thing, how he wanted to learn more about me (but he never asked me any questions), etc, etc.

After dinner he was very insistent about going to his car instead of walking me to my car.  (Helllllo! Don’t know you!  Dark, semi empty parking lot at 10pm at night! Hello!).  Against my better judgment, I went with him to his car and he gave me a box of Junior Mints.  An opened, half eaten box of Junior Mints.  When he finally walked me to my car, he kissed me (which was fine-ish) but when I clearly wanted him to let go of me he wouldn’t let me loose.  I literally had to tug and shake my way out of his grasp.

I called him the next night and he told me that he was very disturbed by how our date ended and that he was up to 6am the next morning thinking about it.  I told him that I thought he was a little intense in general and definitely too intense for me.  He continued to talk about how he hasn’t dated in 3 years and wasn’t socialized in the whole dating world anymore and how he’s a great guy, how if I passed on him I would be missing out on a good thing, blah, blah, blah…for an hour.  

Then the next morning around 7am he texted me, “Can I have a kiss?” I didn’t answer his text.

He called a few hours later but I didn’t answer or listen to the voice mail he left me.

Stupid cell phone caller ID.

I get to work this morning and I get this email from him:

Seriously, I very clearly said over dinner, “I’m pretty much an open book. You can ask me whatever you want.” What do you want – my bank account number?

He has an 18 year old daughter. Would he be okay with her getting in some random dude’s car?

Living a double life?  When did I start getting that kind of sleep?

What’s with all of the emoticons?

And most important, what the hell happened to the other half of the Junior Mints?!?!?


36 Things for Year 36

So in an attempt to grow more as a person and get out of my own little mind, I made a list of 36 things to do in my 36th year of life. This took some serious thought people. They had to be doable items, improve me as a person and help me meet new people and do more fun things in life.

The following list was much the group effort. My friend Tiffany and I kicked off writing the list over dinner for my birthday at The Counter. We (we meaning me) dragged our server Gabe into the madness, as well as the couple sitting to the right of us, Alice and Josh. I then posted the idea and the partial list on Ravelry’s Miscellaneous Group discussion page where I received a number of really wonderful suggestions from people across the country and even a few gals from Europe (THANKS LADIES) and added the best of the best to my list.

Soooo, with no further ado, here’s my list of 36 Things for Year 36:

  1. Be less bossy/controlling (stop snickering!!!)
  2. Be less judgmental
  3. Be more comfortable in my own skin
  4. Be more kind at work
  5. Conquer a fear
  6. Date men that have positive/healthy relationships with their family
  7. Do a fair isle knitting project
  8. Do a knitting project that requires steeking
  9. Do the 30 day music challenge on my blog
  10. Donate to at least three charities
  11. Drink more booze – better booze (go wine tasting a lot!)
  12. Eat less red meat
  13. Eat more dark chocolate
  14. Fix my crazy teeth
  15. Flirt only with men I find attractive
  16. Go meat free for a month
  17. Go natural (this is a black girl hair thing – no more relaxer!)
  18. Go to a city I’ve never been to – outside of California
  19. Go to church more
  20. Go to the HOLLYWOOD sign
  21. Grow something
  22. Knit for charity
  23. Learn a new language
  24. Learn to deal Texas Hold Em’
  25. Learn to make mole
  26. Less swearing (hellllo potty mouth)
  27. Memorize a poem
  28. More blogging
  29. Organize my closet
  30. Relax in general
  31. Start each day with a prayer or positive affirmation
  32. Stash down!!! Stash down!!!
  33. Take a doubledecker bus ride
  34. Take dance lesson (Tap? Tango? Pole?)
  35. Take singing lessons
  36. Volunteer

Thanks and lots of hugs to Tiffany (below) for being down with my brand of crazy and helping me kick-off my list and to the Ravelry girls for their great suggestions that helped complete my list.

Wanted: A Champion

I’ve never been a heavy dater.  I’m a Black girl that has a history of dating White guys.  This doesn’t make for an easy dating life – even in a city like Los Angeles. I also have high standards and quite the “I refuse to compromise on these items” list.  But after years of working on my list of what I want in a man (Christian, strength, humor, great lover, etc..) and all the things I don’t want (a heavy drinker, smoker, general lameness, etc…) I could never just sum it up with one word.  No longer!

I was watching Eat Pray Love last weekend.  There’s a scene when Liz is at her guru’s house and Philippe is getting his palm read.  The guru’s wife walks by and says to Liz, “He’s a good man.  You need a good man.”  Of course, Liz is annoyed and everyone laughs.  As Liz and Philippe leave the guru’s house Liz runs her hand thru her hair and says, “I’m so tired of people telling me I need a man.”  And then Philippe says it…

“You don’t need a man.  You need a champion.” Liz smiles.

I smiled.

I want a champion.  Someone that can be trusted to make good decisions (and trusted in general).  Someone that knows when to kick ass and when to finesse a situation.  Someone with high self-esteem but not a cocky asshole or d-bag.  Someone that knows when to be strong and when to be gentle.  Someone that can be venerable when the moment calls for it and not see it as a weakness. I can go on, but I’m sure my point is obvious.  A champion.

Am I asking too much???  Did I mention that I have high standards???

Btw…I’m way tired of being “good for” some guy.  “Oh, Michele will be good for blah, blah, blah.”  Hearing that makes me feel like I’m with someone that needs to be corralled or needs a mommy figure – not a girlfriend. I want to be a “good match” for my guy and I want him to be a good match for me. There’s more of a feeling of a healthy balance with a good match.  Being good for someone sounds terribly unbalanced and not particularly something I want to be legally bound in for the rest of my life.  I’m just sayin’…